When God Writes Your Birth Story
The Story of Jonathan Hayden Guntle’s Home Birth

Birth: \'bәrth\ n. a: the emergence of a new individual from the body of its parent b: the act or process of bringing forth young from the womb

I’m a doula. I coach women through their birth experience. They call it ‘mothering the mother’. I’ve seen many births over the last few years. Some short, some long. Some medicated, some not. I can tell you story after story about some of the most incredible women out there who have birthed there babies. I can also tell you that there aren’t enough books in the world, not enough moms to share stories or seminars to go to. Nothing in this world can prepare you for birth. It is the most incredible, most unimaginable, most outrageous event your body will ever go through. Society has degraded it by scheduling it as if it were a hair appointment. Some doctors have corrupted it by treating it as a sickness. But I have not experienced birth in any of these ways. The birth of my son, despite the pain, the hardship, the fear and the longsuffering – was worth every second. Even after having circled the globe doing missionary work, the pride of bringing forth a child has now far outweighed any other accomplishments I have ever experienced. I have birthed a child, and I would like to tell you about my greatest achievement.
Before you have a baby, you must obviously become pregnant. Certainly I don’t have to describe how that all comes into play. So we’ll start this little story with the test. The pregnancy test that is. Yes, the one you pee on so many times, hoping to see the double line. If you are longing to be pregnant like I was, then I don’t have remind you of the staggering disappointment when only one line appears. Your heart sinks. Your hope slowly fades. You constantly wonder, “Will I EVER become pregnant??” And then the glorious day comes when you can’t believe your eyes and you are jumping up and down like a little kid at the ice cream truck, staring in disbelief at the double line… on the stick…with pee on it! You are pregnant!! At least this is how it happened for me. Once I got off the pill, I decided to start charting my cycle. I had it all figured out. And so, when I started spotting 10 days after my period, I thought for sure I had the textbook ‘implantation bleeding’. I must be pregnant! But alas, I was not. And after four more pregnancy tests AND a blood test, I still was not pregnant. It was enough to drive me mad! For as long as I could remember, I wanted to be a mother. God answered that prayer when he sent me my husband, Nathan and his three children that I mother on a full time basis. But it wasn’t too long after we got married that I began to long for the experience of becoming pregnant and birthing my own child. And now here I was, ready to go forth on that incredible journey with a big stop sign in front of me called the negative pregnancy test. Don’t let me fool you though. I got pregnant. Oh yes I did. On the first try! But, any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you - days feel like weeks and weeks feel like years when you are waiting patiently for the double line.
My double line appeared on December 9, 2006 at 5:30 in the morning. Nathan was in the shower getting ready for work, when I snuck out of bed and pulled out the test in a desperate attempt to get my double line. I was so nervous, I wanted to throw up. Down deep in that maternal sector of my being was an inkling that I was pregnant. Those negative tests HAD to be wrong! So here I was trying again, in hiding because I knew my husband would only get upset with me for frustrating myself once again. I had gotten a little obsessive. Could you blame me? I dipped the stick and waited. And, the rest they say is history. I could hardly believe it! I was pregnant. I was jumping and shaking and running to my husband in disbelief. We cried and hugged and stood there soaking wet, marveling at our double line. It was ours. The Lord had given us a gift. We were going to have a baby.
Sharing the news was just as exciting as finding out we were pregnant. My parents were getting their first grandchild, our kids were getting a baby brother or sister and my in-laws were getting their fifth grandchild. It was the greatest news to share, especially during the holiday season. Excitement paused however at the smell at BBQ. You got it. Nausea. It’s an awful feeling. It’s not like the nausea you get when you are actually sick. It might be worse, because you aren’t sick and you feel so terrible. But Texan BBQ did it for me. Anything that smelled smoked – like the fireplace burning, burnt toast – you name it! Not a fun feeling. Then horrific indigestion took over at every meal. Soon after, the exhaustion hit and I was literally sleeping right through my weekends. Fortunately, I never did throw up and this awful thing they call “morning sickness” seemed to subside by week 13 – thank God!
Before I continue with this birth story, I must tell you about my midwife. Being a doula opens your eyes to many things in the birthing world. As I stated earlier, I have seen many births in all shapes and sizes. I knew that when it was my turn, I did not want a medicated or dictated birth. I wanted it my way, on my terms, in my home. Prior to getting pregnant, I began my search for a midwife. I’d read their web pages and became overwhelmed with emotion. These women saw it my way. Their hearts beat to the same rhythm mine did. Now all I had to do was convince Nathan to join the party. It wasn’t that my husband was against home birth. His children’s births were all medicated with all the interventions to go with it. He had seen the bad and the ugly of childbirth. It was his fear of something going wrong that stood in the way of a home birth decision for our family. So we made a deal. We would interview three midwives concerning home birth and if after the interviews his fears and concerns were not alleviated, we would find an OBGYN and go the hospital route. To make a long story short, Nathan was sold after the second interview. We never did interview the third midwife. Our selected midwife was Cathy Rude. I have to say, once we selected Cathy, we never looked back. Cathy was warm, friendly, honest and caring from day one. I remember as a doula, I would accompany my clients to their prenatal appointments and be disappointed in our brief time with the doctor. They were just another number, another check off the doc’s list. With Cathy, I had an hour appointment scheduled with her every time; even when I saw her every other week. I was never rushed, never forced to do anything I didn’t want to do and certainly never felt like just another client. I always felt like I was important to her and that made a world of difference for me throughout my pregnancy.
By the time spring arrived, I was well into my second trimester and growing bigger every day. Can I tell you how much fun it is to get big?? Maybe it’s because I am not your average petite girl. I’ve got meat on my bones and proud of it! But to be pregnant and have the excuse to have a belly is a lot more fun! And then there comes the day when you feel that first flutter. And then the flutter becomes and kick and before you know it, you can predict what times your baby will be most active and when he will be sleeping. I remember one day I was probing my belly looking for a response from my baby and after pushing once, he’d kick once. Then I’d push twice in a rhythmatic way and he would respond the same way. Words can’t hardly express the joy you feel when you come to the understanding that there is a living human baby inside you. And once you think you’ve felt immeasurable joy, something else happens to overrule it. For instance, I thought my joy was complete the day my baby’s kicking was consistent. I thought it couldn’t get better than this. But then at around 18 weeks pregnant, we went and had a sonogram done and found out we were having a little boy. Joy meter shot up! Especially because I just knew from the moment I saw my double line that I was having a boy! About seven weeks later, we were given the opportunity to have a 4D ultrasound done and see the baby in a whole new way. Now, I had seen still pictures of a 4D ultrasound, but that still did not prepare me for the awe-inspiring moment when I saw my son’s face. He had my nose! He blinked and sucked his thumb! It was as if someone had opened me up and took video footage of his life in my womb! Joy meter was about to explode! Who said becoming a mother was heart-breaking? “They must not have gotten the 4D ultrasound” I thought to myself. This was the life. It couldn’t get better than this. I wanted to bottle up the moment and re-live it every day.
Several more weeks passed and the maternity pants got more snug. I thought I would pop! We were given an opportunity to have another 4D ultrasound done and I took it. Who wouldn’t want to see their baby up close and personal? This time, the event wasn’t as joyous. The sonographer observed the baby’s umbilical cord wrapped loosely around his neck. And as fast as you can say your name, all the peace I had build up and hid in my heart was washed away and flooded by fear. Nathan and I tried to reason with the report. The life of our baby was in our hands. Should we still plan our home birth or “play it safe” in the hospital? My midwife Cathy was supportive with whatever way we chose. We quickly came to the realization that once we placed the life of our baby in the hands of our loving Father, we were released from worry and fear. God knew my desires. Isn’t He God – the One who gives desires to those who love Him? God knew this baby’s name and personality – He formed him in my womb! Wouldn’t He be faithful to save my baby? From that moment on, we wholeheartedly trusted God for the safe and healthy delivery of our baby boy in our home.
The spring months flew and before I knew it, I was in my third trimester in the middle of a Texas summer. With an August 21st due date, time couldn’t fly fast enough. I wanted that baby to get here and get here fast. I had all three kids starting school on the 26th and I didn’t want the baby to come anywhere near that time. I secretly wished and prayed that my original due date of July 31st would be more accurate, but Cathy kept warning me not to get my hopes up as it is more common for first time moms to deliver late rather than early. So I kept doing everything as I had been and all was well. All except for the swelling. The wedding ring came off about week 29 and my ankles looked a lot like tree trunks shortly after. All comes with the territory. Have I mentioned the frequent trips to the restroom? I knew the cleaning ladies at the local grocery store quite well. They always seemed to have it ‘temporarily closed’ for cleaning when I needed to go. After our first encounter, I was given VIP access. Along with swelling and a heavy bladder are your raging hormones. For me, it seemed like I had a rough irritable start and then everything came to a balance during the second trimester. But when the third trimester arrived, I became a hormonal, emotional mess. Besides having to deal with the cord issue, my precious grandfather passed away when I was 28 weeks along. And I was also feeling bad about not having my mother who lives in Pennsylvania at the birth to see my son born. It seemed like I would daily focus on the things burdening my heart and meditate on them. Not a good idea. It was only when I focused on the positive things, like my baby’s good health that I was able to get out of that rut and be at peace. There is nothing like the Word of God and an anointed worship CD that can pull you out of your deepest, darkest day.
I’ll never forget the day we had our home visit scheduled. It was July 31st and I was about 37 weeks along. This is the day when your midwife comes and sees the home where the baby will be born. She finds where everything is ahead of time, checks that you have all the supplies needed for the birth and sits with you, your husband and her accompanying midwife and helps you develop a birth plan. Plan. Did you know that the word ‘plan’ means to devise or project the realization or achievement of something? This basically means that it may not happen exactly the way you thought it would. For me, we spoke of how I wanted to start labor in the morning after a good night’s sleep and how I didn’t want my water to break first or if it did, I certainly did not want it to break in public! Gross! I also was adamant about the baby being born on his own birthday as we have one August birthday and two early September birthdays in our family. We talked about how I wanted to have a water birth and how a 12 hour labor would be ideal. We also had the opportunity to talk with the accompanying midwife who happened to be the other midwife we interviewed 9 months earlier. We felt relieved that we knew and liked the woman Cathy would have helping her. Besides, it is one of Cathy’s rules that she doesn’t bring anyone with her to a birth that the client had not already met, unless it cannot be helped. We planned a beautiful event and when Cathy left my house, I felt excited and ready. The baby would be here before we knew it.
On the morning of August 6th, I woke up feeling sort of weird. I don’t remember having a good night sleep (plan abruption #1), but not a big deal. Sleep didn’t come easy these days. I was just about to turn 38 weeks and me and the kids were headed to an appointment and then off to the beach with some friends. A day at the beach sounded nice for someone who felt like a beached whale! At about 8:30 am, I took a quick shower. I remember feeling weird pains in my lower back. They would come and go every few minutes, but I wasn’t having contractions in the front of my stomach. So I continued to get ready. I packed the lunches, the kids and the dog up in my truck and we headed for our appointment with our pediatrician.
On my way to the appointment, my frequent back pains got stronger. Not truly thinking about what was happening, my ever-so-brilliant daughter blurts out “Maybe you’re in labor”. I immediately called Nathan. After hearing me groan through a few painful backaches, we decided that I should call my midwife and fill her in on my situation. At this point my back pain was happening every seven minutes or so. I called Cathy. She seemed concerned and we agreed that I would call her after my appointment was over. Cathy lived only about 15 minutes or so from my pediatrician, so if things progressed, I could always drive to her house and have her check me out. Sure enough, things did progress. I left my two eldest children in the waiting room as I went back with the youngest. As the nurse was about to go over his information with me, I got another weird feeling. I can’t really explain it – I just knew I need “to go”. I quickly excused myself and found myself doing the pregnant jog to the bathroom. All of a sudden, I felt a small warm sensation in my swimsuit. Did I just pee myself? I couldn’t have – I was a faithful “kegel-er”! I ran faster. No sooner than the second I sat on the toilet, a huge gush of water came out of me. Had I never been around birth before, I might have been scared. But accompanying that gush was an all too familiar smell. It was the smell of birth. It was amniotic fluid. It was mine! My water broke!!! (plan abruption #2) I am going to have a baby!! I tried to clean myself up as best as I could, but how can you dry wet shorts in a public bathroom? I waddled to the room in soaked shorts where my son and the nurse sat bewildered and informed them that my water broke. All of a sudden, the office erupted with activity. No one knew what to do with me and somehow word of my water breaking had made it all the way to the people sitting in the waiting room (plan abruption #3). I convinced the staff that I was capable and well enough to drive to see my midwife. I was telling the truth. I felt fine other than the annoying sopping wet feeling in my swimsuit. They allowed me to go and as I got my other kids and left the office, the people in the waiting room applauded as I left. How embarrassing!
I called Cathy on my way to her house and she was shocked! She really thought the baby was going to come towards the end of the month. She agreed that at this point, it was best for me to go straight to her house which was closer to the pediatrician than my house was. I called Nathan at work and he was able to leave and meet me at Cathy’s. All of a sudden, the back pains came back and were a lot more intense. I immediately called my parents and got them to start praying. I later found out from the kids that I almost drove us into a ditch a few times on that 15 mile drive to Cathy’s. Thank God He was looking out for us… I don’t remember that at all!
When I got to Cathy’s house, she examined me and found that I was 3 cm dilated and completely effaced! My blood pressure was very high and she was trying to help me relax. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me! I was really looking forward to going to the beach! At least my baby boy would be here soon. My husband arrived at Cathy’s house with lightening speed. Cathy had Nathan take me home in my car with the kids and dog and leave his car at her house. She had a situation going on with another mom in labor and so she informed us that she would get to us as soon as possible and send her assistant ahead of her to be with me.
I cannot begin to tell you how bad that car ride was. It’s a good 40 minute drive and I moaned in pain the whole time. I was so loud that Nathan couldn’t talk on the phone. I just wanted him to do whatever he had to in order to get me home as fast as possible. Thankfully as soon as we got home, my mother-in-law was there to take the boys and our dog out of the house. I needed to get in my zone and the last thing I needed was any kind of distraction. I went immediately to the shower with my worship CD and stayed in there as long as I could.
At about noon, Leah, Cathy’s apprentice arrived. I had never met her. Where was Natalie, the other midwife? (plan abruption #4) As much as I cared, I really didn’t. I was in pain and I just wanted someone to be there to get my house and our situation under control. Nathan, my friend Ashlie and my daughter Jennifer stayed close by my side helping me through every contraction. Whether reading scripture, giving me a drink or breathing through a contraction with me, I don’t think I went through one contraction that whole day alone. Each of them played a special role and I was so thankful for them. I can’t tell you how important it is to have a solid labor team. Whether you have a doula accompany you along with your husband or a close friend, it is imperative to have a team of people there to coach you and encourage you and help facilitate your dream birth. Looking back, I am so glad that Nathan and I went to childbirth classes together. We learned how to get rid of our fears and put all our dependency on the Lord for a safe and healthy birth. We also learned how to work together through contractions in a way that would comfort me and help me to keep focused despite the pain. That is exactly how it was. Nathan sat through every contraction with me, breathing, encouraging, massaging. Whatever it took, whatever I needed – he did it. No wonder he is my knight in shining armor! Despite his foggy head and sinus infection, he was truly selfless that day and went above and beyond to be there for me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that.
Leah did a great job helping me out until Cathy arrived at 2 pm. But wait! Was that another unfamiliar voice I heard? (back to plan abruption #4) Debbie Perry, who was also a midwife, had come to help Cathy. It was another person at my birth I had not ever met. Apparently, Natalie couldn’t get out of work. Connie, a doula that works with Cathy that I did know, was out of town on vacation. So here I was, in labor with Cathy and her two helpers that I had never met. But please, before you get this awful thought in your head about how terrible it was for me, let me tell you. Leah was a wonderful help to Cathy. If she did what she could to allow Cathy to be with me rather that in her paperwork, it was far worth it. She was a sweet, young girl who was just lovely in her demeanor. In fact, I was a little jealous of her! I wish I was Cathy’s apprentice. I was happy that she would learn from my birth experience. Debbie was also a God-send. Besides having been Cathy’s midwife teacher, she was a woman well in tune with the Holy Spirit and ministered to me along with Cathy in a very special way. She had the heart of a mother and comforted me with prayers, hugs, massage and words of encouragement in a way that doesn’t come natural to most people. It is very hard to describe in words, but I know God sent her that day to minister to me in my time of need.
Labor was relentless. I am not going to lie. Every contraction came with intense back pain, gushes of fluid and constant moaning. Thankfully, home birth allows you to be as loud as you want to be and you can labor how you want to. They warned me not to moan so much simply because they didn’t want me to overexert myself or get a sore throat. But I didn’t care. Moaning helped me deal with the pain, so I kept it going. I was able to labor on the birth ball, in the shower, in my inflatable swimming pool set up in my bedroom, on the toilet - wherever. I did lunges, squats, hung from sheets tied to my closet door – you name it, I did it all; all to encourage baby boy to come on out and find a place where labor was more manageable.
Hours passed. Labor was progressing nicely even with the back pain. Not once was I afraid. In that, I am being completely honest. I was truly able to trust God though the labor, to trust that my body could do it and to trust Cathy and my team to get me to the end. I knew it would be okay. At about the 13th hour, (plan abruption #5) I was fully dilated. Thank God, I was ready to push! The next three hours (yes, I said three) is a complete blur to me. From what I understand, just as I would get ready to push, a small piece of cervix would slip back over the baby’s head. For some reason, at this point, I was taking one step forward in labor and then two back and no one could seem to understand why. This slip of the cervix happened not once, but twice. Cathy was able to maneuver the baby’s head past the cervix both times. Can you say “ouch”? Not the most pleasant of experiences to say the least. Everyone thought that the baby was posterior which means that he was facing face up instead of face down. This would explain the unimaginable back pain. But when they would reach in and feel for the baby, they said it wasn’t so. What was going on? I was impressed and awed when Cathy and Debbie would pray out to God and ask for His wisdom on how to proceed. I mean, here are these educated and experienced women who have walked through hundreds, if not thousands of births, and they are calling on God for help and wisdom. It wasn’t because they didn’t know what they were doing. It was their maturity and respect for God in allowing Him to act, move and have His way in the birth of my son. It was a tremendous example to me and helped me to let go of my plan, and allow God to have His way. It was in this place that something broke in the Spirit. I don’t know if many of you will know what I mean by saying this, but it’s as if you are hitting a brick wall over and over again and then all of a sudden, POOF, it’s gone. The stereo was playing a CD that had become one of my favorites. I had one particular song on repeat. It sang over and over: “I will love you and adore you. I will trust you God. I will sing in times of trouble. I will trust you God.” Those words rang in my mind and in my heart and though I was incredibly weary and exhausted, I pressed on.
At another point in this three hour marathon, Cathy felt that the baby’s head was acynclitic, which basically means that his head was tilted to the side and making it difficult for his head to emerge. She also threw in a phrase that no home birth mama ever wants to hear: “If I don’t see progress soon, we’re going to have to look at other options”. Options? What options did she have in mind? I knew she meant the hospital, but I played dumb and asked her what she meant by that. “We’ll have to go to the hospital if I don’t see progress” she said. I knew instantly it would call for a C-section. The baby had been in the birth canal a very long time and I knew she was worried about him even though he was responding remarkably after every contraction. Well, I would not let that happen. She got me on the bed, on my back and was able to adjust the baby’s head to the way it was supposed to go. Finally, I was making progress. There was no way in the world she was getting me to a hospital. Since I was finally making progress with pushing, they didn’t want to move me to the swimming pool. (plan abruption #6) So here I was, in bed and on my back – certainly a position I had never imagined myself to be in for my home birth. But it was what worked and so we went with it.
Pushing was an experience I was not ready for. Most women say it is a relief to push mostly because you have this incredible urge to push and it feels good. Not so for me. In fact, I don’t ever recall a true urge to push. I think the pain in my back was so intense, I couldn’t feel anything else. At that point, I was ready to have this kid out! And so the pushing went and went for what felt like hours. At first, the progress seemed to stagger. I knew the kind of pushing Cathy wanted me to do, but I didn’t want to do it. It was the most intense feeling I had ever had. My eyeballs hurt so badly from pushing with my eyes open, I thought they were going to pop out! I could feel my face change shades of red to purple and I thought my head would explode. Why didn’t anyone tell me to close my eyes? I didn’t want to push like that anymore. It actually frightened me. Then suddenly, this wave of grace came over me. And though there were six people cheering me on, I only heard the voice of my husband close to my ear encouraging me with words of compassion and I seemed to only see my sweet daughter bouncing up and down, giggling with delight as she saw her baby brother’s head emerge. It was enough to make me want to push. And push and push and push I did. My team kept cheering while my parents listened on the cell phone. With one final push, my darling baby son was delivered by Nathan and placed on my chest at 11:52 pm, August 6th, on my eldest son’s 10th birthday (plan abruption #7).
Oh the joy! My precious son was finally here! Oh the relief! My back pain instantly disappeared! The tears of joy flowed all around the room. Words cannot describe the joy you feel when that healthy baby is finally in your arms. Remember that joy meter I spoke of earlier? There’s no way it could contain this kind of joy. And who cares that he just peed and pooped on me? He is mine and he can do whatever he wants!! I was filled with incredible joy I had never felt before.
By the way, did I tell you? The cord was still wrapped around his neck… twice and also around his ankle. God was faithful! I had my baby boy! His cries were the sweetest sound I had ever heard! He had a beautiful head of hair on that ol’ cone head of his. He still had my nose and the most perfect little butt. Oh the love that fills your heart for your child. It is immeasurable, uncontainable. All for this tiny person you just met. How did that happen? I still don’t know.
I guess there are a few other details that I should mention. My baby, Jonathan Hayden Guntle was 8 lbs. 9 oz with a head over 14’ in diameter. That’s over an inch bigger than your average baby. I did have a minor tear that required 3 stitches. Not a big deal. I was able to urinate with no pain right after Cathy stitched me up. Nathan was allowed to pray a prayer of blessing over our son just minutes after he was born which was so special for us. My in-laws brought the boys back and the six of had a short time together as a family to welcome our newest addition. Later, Jonathan and I sat in a nice warm herbal sitz bath. We relaxed together, just getting to know each other. Jonathan loved the warmth of the water and I loved how great it felt on my bottom. After the bath, I ate a small meal and showered off. I felt great, but I was exhausted in a way I had never been before. When I went back to my bedroom, my room had been completely cleaned and bed sheets changed by the midwives and my baby was swaddled waiting for me to hold him. By the time I went to bed, it was about 3 am. There I was, in my bed, next to my husband, cuddling our brand new son. No machines beeping, no irritating IV’s pumping me with meds, no pushy doctors or cranky nurses. I had done it – I had birthed my first child. It was the most amazing accomplishment in my life to date.
Looking back, I have come to realize that it is not pain tolerance that you need to naturally birth a child. I say this because I have very little pain tolerance. Stub my toe, and I am crying like a baby. Endurance is what you need. Even in scripture, we are commanded to pursue endurance. “But you, woman of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.” 1 Timothy 6:11-12 Pursuing this, allowed me to fight. I fought and I won. You must also choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. This is your baby’s birthday and though you are exposed to labor’s demands, you have a choice. You are free to choose. So when you do, choose to overlook the inconveniences of labor and not battle your body or your baby and certainly not wallow in self-pity. Celebrate each contraction despite the pain. You’ll be giving your baby everything it needs during labor and before you know it, you’ll be holding your precious one in your arms.
Now in reading my story, you may have noticed that I was faithful to note the specific plans I had when it came to the kind of birth I wanted. Many of the things planned didn’t quite happen the way I would have wanted to. I will tell you this, and tell it to you honestly. There is nothing about my birth experience that I am disappointed with. Cathy did all she could to create the best birthing environment for me, and she did. In fact, I think that had I delivered in the hospital, I would have had no choice than to go the medicated route. At home, Cathy facilitated a place of peace and tranquility where I could birth my son the way I felt most comfortable. The fact of the matter is, I had my son, at home, naturally and he was healthy. That is all that truly mattered to me. Not dates, times or certain people with me. You will find the same for yourself. Nothing else will matter. Once you hold that precious baby in your arms, your birth plan is already tossed aside.
How could I end this story without some insight to the postpartum world? Let me tell you my childbearing friend. Postpartum feels like you have ridden a bicycle for a few days and never got off. It just hurts down there. It’s sore, it’s uncomfortable. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You will be tired. You will cry at stupid commercials. You will feel overwhelmed at times. Your nipples will hurt even at the thought of another latch on. You’ll be afraid to have sex again (don’t worry, you will have and enjoy sex again… maybe sooner than you think). And the concerning the pain of childbirth - let me tell you. I remember it, maybe more so because I have video to look back on. But really, the memory of it is truly gone. I already want another go at it! Know this: with a good post-partum support team, you will get past the hardships and be your old self again in no time. I promise.
As I write this story, my son is now 11 weeks old. He is the pride and joy of my life. I look forward to nursing him in the middle of the night… though he has just started sleeping 8 hours, God bless him. Diapers don’t faze me. One look into his bright blue eyes makes my day. His smile is innocent, his coos melt my heart. I simply adore this little boy. It was all worth it. If you are discouraged with an ill report of your pregnancy, I tell you, it’s worth it. If you think you are going to have a big baby and want to go vaginally but are afraid, I tell you again, it’s worth it. If you just can’t imagine nursing one more time because it hurts so badly, it’s worth it. You have been given the greatest honor known to life. You are a mother. Embrace it and it all it has to offer. You’ll never regret it. In fact, you’ll find yourself wanting more. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself anxiously waiting for your double line once again.